Your Feelings Make a Really Bad Marriage Counselor
This is an article that Dr. Raymond Force has written entitled, “Your Feelings Make a Really Bad Marriage Counselor”.
Most of my life has been about helping people with their problems. If I have learned anything, it is that feelings are often our “Benedict Arnold” (I apologize in advance to our UK clients) to our own state of happiness, fulfillment, and obedience to God.
Now, if you have been following our newsletters long, you know that feelings are God-given, and they are God’s icing on top of the cake once we have done what is right. Nevertheless, I would have to say that one of the reasons why success seminar speakers, preachers, counselors, and life coaches will always have a job is because, when we face conflict, our first impulses are typically the wrong impulses to follow.
Children are motivated by one thing, feelings. It is the job of the good parent to move that child from a feelings-driven life to a principled-driven life. Unfortunately, this transition is rarely occurring in our society today, therefore, we have a lot of people that are, in my mind, little people in big people’s bodies. The only difference is that they have more money to spend, bigger toys, and far worse consequences to their negative behavior.
Many marriages are suffering because of the above mentioned scenario. To be gut honest, as a pastoral care counselor and marriage coach, I am typically picking up where Dad and Mom left off. That is, I am having to coach people to move according to principles not feelings.
Is it possible that you are in a feelings-driven marriage? Here are, in my opinion, a few signs of a feelings-driven marriage:
1. Lots of ups and downs
2. Consistently one miscommunication or one unavoidably tense moment away from an argument
3. Constant fighting
4. Retaliatory words and actions
5. Clamming up and pouting
6. Arguing instead of discussing
7. Physical Intimacy is inconsistent and used as a weapon or a form of control
8. Little connectivity
Are you in a feelings-driven marriage? Need to know the right principles to follow to fix your marriage problems? Once again, I have to highly recommend our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage. This Audio Cd Series emphasizes what I believe are the two most important principles that couples having difficulties should heed in order to fix their marriage problems. For Ordering Information, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
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Article written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
