Young Couple – Newlyweds Having Marriage Problems
Question: “We have been married for 6 months and we are not connecting at all. Is there anything else we can do before calling it quits? I want to make this work, but my husband wants out.”
Answer:
Any time two rivers come together, there will always be a certain amount of white water, especially at the beginning. I have two things to share with you that should encourage you to stick with the marriage.
1. A few years ago, a study was done on couples that stated that they were having marriage problems and were unhappy in their marriage. The researchers decided to wait five years and question those that had “stuck it out” in comparison to those that had “thrown in the marriage towel”. Out of the couples that decided to “stick it out”, 80% stated that they were happy in their marriage. Out of the people that had given up and got a divorce, only 19% said that they were happier after their divorce. (Institute for American Values)
2. Many couples bring a lot of excess baggage from the past into their marriage. The typical forms of baggage are hurt, anger, a lack of understanding of what true love is, a wrong attitude toward sex, and a low self-image. Because of excess baggage, many marriages are doomed from the start. They are actually time bombs ready to go off! Mark it down, excess baggage will weigh your marriage down in some way, shape, or form.
Many times, when couples start to feel the effects of the baggage that is weighing down their marriage, they feel that the answer is to throw the marriage away, however, the real answer is to throw the baggage out. As a matter of fact, one of the problems with not dealing with the baggage is that people tend to just take their excess baggage on to the next relationship. For this reason, there are people on their fourth or fifth marriage that still think they have not found the right person! If the truth be told, if they would have initially dealt with the excess baggage in their life, they may still be on their first marriage.
You can start to deal with this baggage through Christian-based marriage counseling and / or coaching, good, Christian-based books (like Angry Without a Cause / Click Here to Order), marriage resources (like our Audio Cd Series, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger / Click Here to Order), prayer, and church attendance.
Remember, be very careful to work on yourself first. Certainly, your spouse needs to change, however, up to this point, your spouses vision of seeing his/her own faults has probably been blurred by your own errors and mistakes! It is so important to take your own faults out of the picture so he/she can see theirs.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
