Why Men Lose their Cool in a Fight
Why Men Lose their Cool in a Fight – by Christian Marriage / Youth Speaker, Dr. Raymond Force
Some men have a way of pushing their wives into what I call an emotional mud pit. Consequently, many husbands try to pull their wife out of that pit by using reason, fear, pressure, and guilt. When a man finds that his efforts are unsuccessful, he often loses his cool and acts in a childish manner.
I have found that men in the above mentioned scenario should learn to stop and take a different approach. That is, when their wife is offended and is stuck in an emotional pit, he will do better to do the following:
1. Wait
Instead of trying to immediately pull your wife out of that pit, you may need to allow time for the mud to dry up so that you can deal with the issue in a less-emotionally charged setting.
2. Do not give into the temptation to put pressure on her to think, feel, or see the argument in the same light that you do.
The scriptures tell us that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). With that in mind, Christ does not make His church pray, worship, witness, and love. First, He loves, then He waits for us to respond accordingly (I John 4:19).
In the same way, when your wife is on the opposite side of a discussion or an argument, you will find it more beneficial to stay away from the temptation to use guilt, reason, and anger to make your wife see your side of the story. To tell the truth, if you are going to imitate Christ, you will not attempt to pressure your wife into feeling differently about the matter.
3. Use reason, but keep it in its proper place.
It is okay for a husband to use logic and reason to prove his point, but most husbands will find it much more beneficial to realize the order in which they should use it.
Once a woman is upset, the ground of her heart has a way of becoming very hard and fallow. It is at this point that a prudent husband will realize that this is not the time to try to force seeds of reason into her heart and mind. In reality, it is better to take the time and the effort to soften the ground of her heart with unconditional love so that at a later time the seeds of reason will be able to fall on soft and fertile soil.
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Article Written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
