Why is Marriage So Hard?
Question:
“If my husband and I were so in love when we first met, why does it seem so hard right now?” [Why is Marriage So Hard?]
Answer:
I will answer your question by posting an article called “If it Was Easy, Everyone Would be Doing it.”.
Contrary to popular opinion, love does not come natural to humans (Romans 3:17). Now, hormones, romance, and a desire for the opposite gender do, but understanding how to truly love those around us is a trait that must be learned.
Think about it. Have you ever had to teach a child how to be selfish? Never, and, to be frank, as most people grow older, they do not stop being selfish as much as they learn that they have to act in a more sophisticated fashion in order to get their way.
I once heard someone say, “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.”. The same is true with marriage and relationships. That is, sacrificially loving your spouse is not something that comes natural to us, nor is it always an easy task.
I believe the divorce rate is now hovering around 50%, and, to be honest, if it wasn’t for the fact that many are living together today, I believe that statistic would be much higher. Nevertheless, I am a firm believer that one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high is because we have raised a couple of generations that have learned very little about what makes marriage actually work. That is, many have went into marriage thinking that love is some natural phenomenon that automatically comes to those that are meant for one another. Not to be rude, but to that I say, “Phooey!”. Though feelings of love and infatuation can be a great glue for dating couples and newlyweds, unless that same couple learns how to love the other person in a sacrificial way, they are headed for the same type of trouble that some of my readers are already experiencing.
I must say that I find that there are a good deal of couples that have great motives, and, at times, they are trying very hard to salvage their marriage. However, they are often unaware that their actions are counterproductive to truly meeting the love needs of their spouse. This is why we have developed our 2-Step Process. This process to fixing your marriage problems is not only Christian-based, but it also teaches you how to sacrificially love the other person in your marriage equation regardless of your feelings and expectations in the marriage.
We have placed our 2-Step Process on our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage. For Ordering Information, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
