Why Couples Lose Their Feelings for Each Other
I like to refer to feelings in a marriage as the icing on top of a 3 or 4 layer cake. Everyone likes the icing (feelings, romance, and passion), but the real question is do you know how to make the 3 or 4 layers upon which the icing sits? In my opinion, not too many couples have that recipe.
Many newlyweds are surprised to see the icing leave their marriage so quickly. At that point, couples start saying things like:
“Maybe I married the wrong person.”
“I have fallen out of love.”
“Maybe marriage is more about raising children and making money together than enjoying romantic love.”
“Maybe romance is for young people. Sophisticated adults don’t need that in their lives.”
“We got married for all the wrong reasons anyway.”
“Intimacy and passion must be sinful in nature since the only time we had passion was when we were living together against God’s will. The marriage bed is probably more for procreation than enjoyment.” (Um . . . better read Song of Solomon and Proverbs 5:15-20 before coming to that conclusion!)
I must admit that a few of these thoughts were my thoughts at one particular time in our marriage, but I am so glad that God showed my wife and I how to bake the 3 or 4 layers that are needed to hold up the icing that everyone wants to enjoy.
Before marriage, icing (feelings, passion, and romance) exists with very little effort. But, after learning more about one another on a day-to-day basis, having children, job demands, and financial pressures, you will have to approach your marriage with a little more understanding and effort if you are going to enjoy your relationship the way that God has intended. Unfortunately, very few couples seem to be making this transition in a smooth manner, if it all.
To start learning the recipe that you need to enjoy the icing in your marriage once again, we would recommend that you learn about our 2-Step process to fixing your marriage problems. Our 2-Step Process is featured in our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage. To see if our 2-Part Audio Cd Series is right for you, Click Here.
Attend our Christian Marriage Retreat / Conference near Tampa, Florida (West of Orlando, FL) on Saturday, July 14th, 2012. Click Here for more information.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
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Article written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
