Stop Playing the Blame Game
Question: “I have been married for over 20 years and we have 4 children. Two are grown and two are still at home. No matter what I seem to do, my wife is rude and sarcastic toward me. She is always argumentative and constantly complains about the house and the amount of time I spend at work. Do you have any advice for me?”
Answer:
I will answer your question by leaving an excerpt from one of our newsletters.
In our last newsletter, I talked about why many couples leave the “house” and go out to the “playground” of relationships. The problem is that there is seldom a playground monitor, and, by the time that there is one present, it is usually in the form of a judge.
One of the games that couples start to play is what I call the “blame game”. Unfortunately, there are never any winners, yet couples relentlessly play it over and over and over again. It hasn’t worked to produce any winners in thousands of years, yet couples are willingly going into overtime thinking that they will be the first to win.
The fact is, each person in a marital relationship holds a great deal of power to put a halt to much of the conflict that is in their marriage. It is vitally important for each (or at least one) of the participants to look at their own faults instead of simply looking at the faults of the other person. I must say, we have a high rate of success when it comes to helping couples, and the ones that “get it” are the ones that stop playing the blame game, and take that same energy and work on their own stuff.
After six months of marriage, I thought that I had married the wrong person, however, as I pursued a better relationship with my wife, I was amazed to see that I was the primary source of irritation to the marriage. During our first year of marriage, my wife’s spirit was wilted and dry, however, as I changed, it was amazing to see her open up to me as a flower does in the morning sun.
Mark it down, the blame game will do nothing to help your marriage. It only fuels the fires of anger, bitterness, rage, and unforgiveness. To start working on your own stuff, I would recommend that you order our Audio Cd series, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage which features our Proven, 2-Step process. To order, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
