Should We Get a Pre-Nuptial Contract or Agreement?
Question:
“We are trying to write a pre-nuptial contract. Reason being, I have been in business for 18 years in real estate investments. I have major assets and the person I am going to marry has no assets. After we get married, my goal and wish is to put all the money we make after household expenses into my business to pay all the mortgages off so we can be debt free as quick as possible and be able to retire early. The problem lies in that my partner who will be putting in apprx 15,000 per year into my business wants to be able to receive all the money he put into the properties plus interest if we get divorced. I am having a hard time trying to figure out what a fair way to compensate him if our marriage should fail. I have put so much money and time into this venture, that the money he would be putting in (or any help physically) would be so small in comparison. Without any help from him, we will never feel any sense of security with our finances. How can we resolve this? I am not willing to give him a percentage of my business. I feel that any monetary benefit I have he will benefit from in the long run. Thanks”
Answer:
I do not believe in pre-nuptial contracts or agreements.
A marriage is not a contract, it’s a covenant. A contract is based on a lack of trust, whereas, a covenant is based on trust.
A woman views life differently than a man. A marriage is more about security than anything else for a woman. My concern is that right from the start, you are sending out the message to her that you feel insecure about your relationship. Also, it’s as if you are giving your marriage an “escape hatch” before you “tie the knot”.
One of the best comments that I receive from time to time about my coaching or pastoral care counseling is that I do not leave couples with a way out. You are starting your marriage with an “escape hatch” from the get go. I think you will regret that one day if you should run into difficulties. In fact, this is the problem with no-fault divorces and pre-nuptial agreements in our day and age. Divorce should be difficult and slow. Far too many marriages “throw in the marriage towel” when they should be taking the time to work on their marital relationship and the baggage that has been weighing their marriage down. Far too many people find it easier to throw out the marriage instead of the baggage.
Let me also say that I think this comes down to a faith issue for you. Faith is obeying God and leaving all the consequences to him.
Also, it seems as if you are putting the burden entirely on you and your new bride. Your business partner should have realized before he signed any agreements with you that he was doing business with a single, good-looking, and intelligent guy that may get married some day. I would say that he needs to be the one that exercises a little faith, and I would not send the message out to my new bride that “we are going to give this a try, but if it doesn’t work, then, well, at least we gave it a good go at it”.
Now, I am not here to give any legal or professional financial advice, and I am only answering this question on the basis of my view of pre-nuptial agreements in regards to the scriptures. This answer is not to be regarded as legal or professional financial advice.
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Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
