Our Marriage is Struggling. Can it Make It (Survive)?
Question:
“We have been married now for a number of years, and I am not sure that our marriage can make it after all that we have been through. Do you find many marriages that are able to have a good marriage after years of fighting and not getting along? Aren’t they just not cut out for one another?”
Answer:
I will answer your question by posting an article that I wrote called, “There’s a Light at the End of Your Tunnel”. I hope this helps.
There’s an old saying that says “You’ve got to have hope to cope.”. How true this is. In fact, this would explain why we often receive phone calls from couples that ask if I ever see marriages in their particular situation that “make it”. Depending on the circumstance, I am typically delighted to say that I do.
If you are in a situation that seems hopeless, let me encourage you with a few thoughts:
1. For all the marriages in your situation that have ended in divorce, there are also a good amount that are now enjoying a wonderful relationship together. Don’t despair. More couples than you realize that live down the street or sit in the pew next to you at church have gone through very similar circumstances.
2. Pray and ask God for help. I totally believe in the power of prayer, and, according to the scriptures, God delights in doing the impossible. As a matter of fact, God will not simply work in spite of all of the impossibilities of your situation, He will also work because of your impossibilities. You see, He is a God that is attracted to need. Better yet, He is attracted to Your Needs (I Peter 5:7).
3. Control the “controllables”. I often tell couples that they cannot do more than God can, however, they can work at creating the atmosphere so that there is a better chance of change taking place. In fact, here is a testimony from a man that did exactly that. On the day of his first coaching session, his wife was making plans to leave. This is after a few weeks of marriage coaching and following our 2-Step process (Click Here for more info.):
“Wow. This is extraordinary. Everything is going so much better . . . This is really working well!”
Here’s another testimony:
“Our first meeting with Dr. Force served as a critical turning point in my marriage. His clear and objective understanding of my situation, and short-comings, released a great deal of tension and set me and my wife on the course of repairing and rebuilding our relationship.”
4. Sharpen your ax. Instead of swinging harder, you may need to take some time to sharpen your ax so that you do not need to work quite as hard (Ecclesiastes 10:10). This is done by improving your own relationship skills. To start learning about our 2-Step Process to snatching your relationship out of the cycle of resentment and anger, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
