No More Love Between My Wife and I
Question:
“I think it’s too late for my wife and I. We have had a difficult 10 years of marriage, and I just don’t feel that the love is there anymore. What would you say to a couple like us?”
Answer:
“I just don’t feel love anymore for my spouse.”, “I don’t have love in my heart toward my spouse.”, or “I don’t think there is any more love between my spouse and myself.”
The above mentioned statements are, by far, the most common statements that I hear from couples. However, just because you are not able to feel love, does not mean that it does not exist.
I do not feel cell phone waves bombarding my body, however, they’re certainly real. When I grab a power chord, I may not feel the electricity that is flowing through the wire, but it certainly exists.
In like manner, many husbands and wivs think that because they don’t feel love, then love is not in their heart. In my opinion, this is a big mistake! When we understand that love is sacrificially giving to our spouse, then we can love our husband or wife whether we feel like it or not.
Now, imagine a train car on a train track that is attached to nothing. Let’s go a little further. Let’s label that train car “feelings”. How do you go about getting that train car moving? Obviously, you’re going to have to attach it to an engine. If not, you’ll be waiting a long time before it starts to move. Likewise, if you want to get your feelings moving as far as your marriage is concerned, you better get them attached to an engine called action. If not, guess what? You’ll be waiting a long time before you start to feel love toward your spouse.
Listen, when you were younger and newly married, you could go on feelings alone. Everything was new. You were both curious. You had not yet seen the good, bad, and the ugly of marriage and one another. Now, you can’t base your actions on your feelings. Your feelings are going to have to be based on your actions (I John 3:18). If not, you’re just an engineer waiting for a train car called “feelings” to get moving without an engine. Once again, you can wait, but you’ll be waiting a long time until someone either gives up or “throws in the marriage towel”.
To learn the proper actions to take to get your feelings in motion, check out our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage by Clicking Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
