My Wife is Unthankful
Question:
“I feel my wife is seldom thankful for all the things I do as a husband. Have any resources or advice for someone like me so I can give it to her?”
Answer:
I’ll gladly answer your question by posting a previous article that I have written on the subject of thankfulness. You may, however, want to order our Audio Cd Series, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage. The importance of thankfulness as it relates to marriage is covered in our 2-Part, Audio Cd Series. Click Here for ordering information.
To be realistic, not a one of us married someone as perfect as Jesus Christ. On a humorous note, if our spouses were as perfect as we would like them to be, they probably wouldn’t have picked you or me for a husband or a wife in the first place. Humorous, yet true.
Nevertheless, it seems to me that some women are looking for something in life that, in my opinion, does not exist, a “storybook” man and marriage. Now, let me be clear, I believe in “storybook” men and marriages, however, I feel that I would add a few more chapters if I was an author of such a book. That is, after the page that says “The End”, I would have to add that all relationships, no matter how wonderful they may be, involve pain, difficulties, drudgery, hard decisions, and emotional turmoil. It’s just a fact of life.
I have now been married for 16 years, and I have yet to have heard romantic music playing in the background when I see my wife in the morning. In reality, when I first see my wife, our hair is messy, our breath is “skanky”, and, unlike the movies, she’s never wearing any makeup (Just so you know, neither am I.).
Problems in our marriage and home are rarely solved in 90 minutes or less, and, between our highs, we, sometimes, have to just “fudge” our way through times when progress seems painful, difficult, and slow. In a nutshell, if you are going to enjoy a happily ever after, you will have to accept that a real happily ever after will involve some pain, emotional “elbow grease”, mistakes, understanding, and, of course, forgiveness.
Now, what’s the point of all of this. Simple. Some women, in their pursuit of a great marriage, man, and life, are turning up their nose to that which is good because they fail to see that which they deem to be great. In other words, many women are so focused on what their husband is not, that they have failed to be thankful for what their
husband is. To be honest, if a wife is going to learn to be content, loving, thankful, and respectful (Ephesians 5:33) toward her husband, she is going to have to realize that
a good husband is a great husband!
In our Audio Cd Series, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage, we talk about the need for ladies to learn the principle of thankfulness as it relates to marriage. In fact, if you think about it, thankfulness has been a problem for women since creation. Eve had a perfect relationship with God, a perfect “house”, perfect health, and, what no woman has ever had, a perfect man. Ironically, she still became unthankful and wanted more than what she had (Genesis 3:6), and, unfortunately, look at the mess we are in now (Not that Adam was blameless in the Garden of Eden.).
Ladies, do you have a good husband? If so, then take a few moments and realize that you have a great husband. No, he’s not perfect, but be sure not to spend your life looking for something that does not exist here on earth. You’ll be looking a long time, and by the time you find it, marriage will no longer be.
I find that thankfulness is a great remedy for many wives suffering from a lack of contentment and an abundance of anger in their marriage. This is why we have included the above mentioned principle in our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage. Click Here for ordering information.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
