My Husband Needs to Grow Up
Question:
“My husband acts like a little kid in our marriage. I’m not sure he wants to grow up. What would you say to a husband that acts like a little kid?”
Answer:
It seems to me that many husbands and wives need to grow up in our day and age. Take a look at this article that I have posted called “It’s Time to Grow Up”.
Why so many troubled marriages? From my perspective, many husbands and wives have never left “high school”, and, to be frank, a vast amount of people in our society today are simply little people in big people’s bodies. That is, they are adult children that have never learned how to deal with life and relationships on a mature level.
Today, I am mortified to see how adults consider swapping spouses like they would a boyfriend or a girlfriend in high school. I literally cringe when I hear of spouses basing their commitment to their marriage on mere feelings rather than their marriage vows. My heart aches when I hear another story of husbands and wives flirting with members of the opposite sex through text messages and emails as if they were back in high school looking for a little fun. To be brutally honest, I expect this from freshmen and sophomores, but not from full-grown adults.
Now, lest I sound like one that never had issues, I have to say that my wife married a man that, although in his twenties, was about 12 to 13 years old when it came to handling problems in our marriage. Just in case you have not put two and two together, that man was me. Here were a few of the signs that I needed to graduate out of “high school” when it came to our marriage:
1. I was grumpy when I did not get my way.
2. My love was totally based upon how I felt that particular day. (That’s okay in junior high and high school, but not in marriage.)
3. I resorted to name-calling, yelling, and angry outbursts when I could not get my wife to see things my way. (Playground like, isn’t it?)
4. My view of love and male-female relationships was based upon Hollywood’s portrayal of love and romance.
5. My goal in an argument was not to solve a problem, but to win.
6. I was happy as long as there was something in it for me.
Today, I still have a lot of room for improvement, but I would have to say that my pivot point was when I held my son for the first time. I remember thinking to myself, “Do I want my son to imitate my actions toward his future wife? Would I be proud of his actions as a husband if he acted like me?”.
Have you had a “Eureka” moment like the one mentioned above? Are you ready to raise your relationship to a higher level? Sorry, but there is really no CLEPPING out of the courses that you need to take. In fact, to move your relationship to the next level, it will take some old-fashioned homework over a certain amount of time to get where you need to go. To start learning about the proper changes to make, you may want to check out our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage by Clicking Here.
Attend our Christian Marriage Retreat / Conference near Tampa, Florida (West of Orlando, FL) on Saturday, July 14th, 2012. Click Here for more information.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer Submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
