Mother Always Feels Tired and Worn Out
Question: “I am a wife and a mother of 4 children. I always feel tired, and I feel guilty because my children and my husband tell me that I am always grumpy.”
Answer:
I’ll answer your question by providing a excerpt from our book, Angry Without a Cause.
Many mothers are just plain worn out. They work fourteen to sixteen hour days, seven days a week, with little time to themselves. They think of the needs of their children and husbands before their own. If you would ask them, working forty hours a week would seem like a part time job. Does this even come close to describing you? If so, then I believe you should pay close attention to what I am about to write.
Just as a well of water can only supply from an underground spring what it’s FIRST BEING FED, a mother cannot expect to provide for her spouse and children what she is not first receiving from the Lord. No matter how hard she tries, she will eventually “come up dry” if she neglects to stay spiritually connected with the Lord. She will crack at the most inopportune time, and it is during these times that she will usually display her anger.
Colossians 1:8 states that the church at Colossae loved with a love that was not their own. We know this because Paul spoke of their “love in the Spirit.” Their love for others was not mustered or manmade. They were simply a channel through which God was able to work. Their souls were like bank accounts. Others could withdraw what God had deposited through the Spirit of God.
Every wife and mother reading this book is in the same position as the believers to whom Paul wrote. Your soul, your heart, and your emotions are like a bank account. If your husband, children, or in-laws try to withdraw more than God has been allowed to deposit, then they will get a “STATEMENT FROM THE BANK.” However, this time, you will be the owner of the bank, and you will usually make that “statement” by crying, complaining, yelling, clamming up, or by distancing yourself from your loved ones. If your immediate family members are the constant recipients of such “statements,” I would highly recommend that you take the following steps:
1. Recognize that mere desire alone is not enough to provide the love and care that your family needs.
The second chapter of Exodus tells us of the time Moses killed an Egyptian that was beating one of the Israelites. As far as I can tell, Moses had a great motive. He was tired of the oppression that his native people were enduring, and, in his mind, it was high time to do something about it. But he acted alone in the matter, without the help of God. He acted in faith, but his faith was in himself.
In the same way, I believe many mothers truly want to be patient, kind, and consistently loving toward their children and their spouses, but they lack one very important ingredient. That is the power and strength to accomplish what they truly want to do. Any mother that finds herself in this position must first realize her utter inability, in and of herself, to love her family the way they need to be loved. She is in dire need of a SOURCE OUTSIDE OF HERSELF; her underground spring. Jesus referred to this “underground spring” in John 7:37-38:
“. . . If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”
2. Your spiritual condition before God must be of utmost importance.
In Mark 6:14-56 and Matthew 14:12-36, the Bible gives us a glimpse of about a twenty-four hour period in the life of Christ. During that day, the Bible tells us Jesus received word of the death of His cousin, John the Baptist, He welcomed His disciples back from their recent missionary trip and intently listened to their stories of what God had done, He organized a feast that fed thousands of people, He traveled by sea, He dealt with the hardness of the disciples’ hearts, He instructed many in the way of the Lord—believe me, that is an exhausting task in and of itself, as some have rightly said, an hour of preaching is the equivalent to eight hours of manual labor—and last, but certainly not least, He performed an incredible amount of miracles.
Jesus had to have been physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained at the end of that particular day, however, I find it interesting that in the morning He seems to start all over again with the same amount of stamina as the day before. What kept Him going? When most people would have taken a few days to get their composure back, Jesus was at it again with the same level of intensity as the day before. I believe the answer can be found in Matthew 14:23:
“And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.”
To me this is a very intriguing verse. I love it because it shows that in the midst of a horrendously busy day, Jesus found time to get alone with His Heavenly Father in prayer. In my mind, I have no doubt what was taking place in the heart and soul of Christ. He was giving time for His individual “well” to fill up with more love, joy, peace, wisdom, and strength, so that in the morning He would have the power and the spiritual ability to continue doing what He had so effectively accomplished the day before.
Like Jesus, you moms need to remember that the single most important event in your day is your time alone with the Lord through prayer and Bible reading. This is your time to get in touch with that “underground spring” that Jesus spoke of in the seventh chapter of John. This is your time to take a trip to the Bank of Heaven and allow God to deposit that which is necessary for you to be the godly wife and mother He desires you to be. REMEMBER, YOUR FAMILY DOES NOT SIMPLY NEED YOU, THEY NEED CHRIST, HIS LOVE, HIS JOY, AND HIS PEACE WITHIN YOU!
Husbands, it is also your responsibility to assist your wives in this task. I don’t believe it is fair to criticize your wife for venting her frustrations (issuing a “STATEMENT”) if you are not willing to help her have time alone with the Lord. If you see that your wife is caught up in a busy schedule, then you may need to take care of the breakfast duties, arrange for a babysitter to watch the children, or take the children off her hands by taking them to a park or playground.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
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Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
