I’m Discouraged about My Marriage
“I’m Discouraged about My Marriage.”
As a Pastor and a marriage coach, if I have heard this statement once, I’ve heard it a thousand times and then some. Let me post a very practical article that will help those that are, indeed, discouraged about their marriage. It is called “Discouraged about Your Marriage?”.
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one person in life that looks more wonderful the closer you get to Him. That Person is God. Outside of Him, we all tend to look a little better at a distance. This, in my opinion, is why marriages tend to take a little dip after the wedding day.
I often say that marriage has a way of squeezing any amount of selfishness right out of us. In fact, if you have any amount of selfish tendencies, your marital relationship will have a way of digging it up and delivering it to your spouse’s doorstep on a very regular basis.
Many couples, upon realizing the truthfulness of this principle, tend to cope by pouring themselves into their job, immersing themselves into their children’s lives, finding new hobbies, or just giving up and leaving the relationship altogether. Though I believe we need to love our children and work hard at our respective careers, neither one of these options is a good substitute for a hot and harmonious relationship with your spouse.
So, the real question is what do you do when you realize that your spouse has negative characteristics that, to be frank, really turn you off? What do you do when marriage has delivered to your doorstep realities that you never dreamed existed in your mate? Well, it’s at this point you must make the right moves. If not, you will find yourself just putting up with another for the children’s sake or financial reasons, or you may find yourself engaging in what I call the vicious cycle of resentment and anger.
Here are a few of the right moves that husbands and wives can start to make:
Right move #1: Adjust your expectations
There is not one person in the world that can meet your every need, including your spouse. Only Christ can do that.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love marriage, however, I call my relationship with my wife God’s icing on top of the cake. In other words, Christ is my ultimate source of happiness and joy, and, my marriage is simply God’s fringe benefit that He allows me to enjoy as a result of my obedience to Christ and His Word.
Right move #2: Realize that true love, works
This is, without a doubt, one of my main objectives when I am dealing with couples in need. That is, many couples are struggling because either one or both of them have never really learned that love is not just a romantic feeling, but working to meet the needs of the other half even when your feelings are leading you in another direction.
Right move #3: Get some outside help
I am convinced that many couples can save themselves a tremendous amount of time, energy, and frustration by seeking outside assistance with their marital issues. This, in fact, is one of the reasons why we have produced our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage.
Our Audio Cd Series features our 2-Step process to fixing your marriage problems, and it is designed to teach both husband and wife how to work to have the marriage that God has designed for them to enjoy. To check out our Audio Cd Series and to learn how to snatch your relationship out of the cycle of resentment and anger (Even if you are the only one that is willing to change), Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Article written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
