If that’s Forgiveness, I’d Hate to See Unforgiveness
If that’s Forgiveness, I’d Hate to See Unforgiveness – by Christian Marriage / Youth Speaker, Dr. Raymond Force
Without a doubt, forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today, especially as it relates to marriage.
I often hear people say something to the effect of “I’ve forgiven him / her, but I just have a hard time being around them.” or “I’ve forgive him / her, but he / she just gets under my skin.”. Others make statements like “I’m a very forgiving person, but this, I just can’t overlook.”.
To the above mentioned statements, I often respond by saying, “If that’s forgiveness, then I’d hate to see unforgiveness.”
Forgiveness is not a feeling that we have deep within the inner sanctum of our being. Forgiveness is a choice to do following:
1. To love the other person as if they were already exactly what you expect them to be (I Corinthians 13:7)
2. To work on the relationship without using the past in a way that makes the other person feel inferior (Philippians 3:13)
3. To speak to that person in a way that is kind, cordial, and appropriate (Ephesians 4:29-31)
4. To refrain from speaking to others about the other person in a negative context (Ephesians 4:29-31 and Matthew 18:15)
5. To refrain from dwelling on the issue in a negative manner within the realm of your own mind and heart (Philippians 4:8)
6. To dwell on the other person’s positive points and not their shortcomings (Philippians 4:8)
What has helped me to formulate these principles on forgiveness is the example that God has set in regards to forgiveness. In other words, if this is the way God treats us when He forgives us, then we should be willing to emulate the same behavior when we say that we forgive others.
Once a couple has walked over the bridge of forgiveness, I highly recommend that they learn the right changes to make in their marriage. Our Audio Cd Series called, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in a Marriage, coaches couples on the right changes to make to break the cycle of resentment and anger in their marriage. For more information, Click Here.
Attend our Christian Marriage Retreat / Conference near Tampa, Florida (West of Orlando, FL) on Saturday, July 14th, 2012. Click Here for more information.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
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Article Written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
