I Have Fallen Out of Love with My Wife
Question:
“I’ve been married for years, but I feel like I’ve fallen out of love with my wife. I don’t feel the love anymore. Do you have any advice?”
Answer:
In our feelings-dominated society, I seem to get this question quite a bit. I will answer it by posting an article I wrote on this subject.
I know I talk a lot about cycles, but here’s another one, and, once again, it revolves around feelings.
To be clear, I’m all about feelings. They’re God-given, and they can be a great motivator, however, unlike principles, they are extremely volatile. I have found that if I follow my feelings, then I, as a speaker, relationship coach, dad, husband, pastor, businessman, and friend, am all over the place. The great thing about principles is that they never change, and when we abide by principles (especially Biblical principles), then we are surrounding ourselves with extremely safe boundaries.
So, here’s the cycle. I’ll use a generic name like Bart to illustrate:
1. Bart feels little love for his wife.
2. Consequently, Bart fails to show love, respect, or affection toward his wife.
3. Therefore, as time goes by, Bart feels even less love for his wife.
4. Now, Bart , because he feels even less love for his wife, displays even less love than before.
5. Consequently, Bart now feels even worse about his relationship with his wife than ever.
6. This cycle continues until Bart and his wife either wear each other out and throw in the marriage towel or they decide to just get by for the children’s sake or for financial reasons.
I often tell people that you cannot look at how you currently feel about your spouse and determine from what you feel, what you are going to do. You are setting up yourself for a roller coaster relationship that will be up one week and down the next. This is certainly not what God has designed marriage to be.
In our Audio Cd Series, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger, you can learn how to snap your relationship out of this vicious cycle. For Ordering Info., Click Here. To watch a 4 minute video on snatching your marriage out of the Cycle of Resentment and Anger, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
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Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
