How to Love Your Husband
Question:
“My husband loves football. I do not like sports at all. I want to spend time with him more, but I just don’t like what he likes.”
Answer:
I just had another question come from a wife that is in your situation. She stated that her husband loves chess, but she has no inclination toward the game. After questioning the lady, I found out that before marriage she would act interested in the game so that she could be with him. My response. “Do now for love’s sake (true love) what you formerly did for self sake”.
Here is a good article that will help you in figuring out your dilemna. Remember, true love is not about what you like and want. This article called “How Manure Saved My Marriage” may be right up your alley.
My wife loves the outdoors. In fact, the last time we went house-hunting, I remember her carefully looking at the barns before any other buildings on the property. I know, that’s a little different, but that’s my wife.
In our Audio Cd Series, How to Break the Cycle of Resentment in Your Marriage, I talk about the fact that we all tend to give and to get love in one or two essential ways. I also cover the fact that we tend to give love the way that we like to get it. This can introduce a few problems for some couples. Here’s how:
When we were just newly-weds, I thought that as long as I was touching and talking to my wife all day long, I was being a good husband. This is because the way that I like to give and get love is through words and touch. Plus, I was under the impression that most women were upset because their husbands do not do enough of this anyway. The problem, however, was that I was willing to follow my wife around all day long telling her that I loved her and trying to sneak a whole lot of kisses, but I wasn’t willing to help with the housework. This was a problem. Why? Because my wife likes to give and get love by doing things for others and allowing things to be done for her. So, even though I had the best of intentions, not too long into our marriage, I became this almost unlovable man in her eyes that was always trying to talk to her and touch her. Why? Because I wasn’t loving her in the specific way that she likes to give and to get love.
I like to tell people that I tried a lot of good things in the early part of our marriage, but it wasn’t until I went out one day and rented a rotor tiller, bought 100 lbs of sheep manure, and started working it into her little garden that she came out of the house glowing from head to toe. It was as if I was her “knight in shining armor”.
Funny thing is, before that time, I tried flowers, date-nights, jewelry, you know, all the stuff a guy is supposed to do. To my surprise, what she really wanted was, well, Sheep Manure!
The moral of the story. Love is not about you. It’s always about the other person. I Corinthians 13:5 says that charity or true, Biblical love “seeketh not her own”.
In our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, we cover the importance of this very same topic. To learn more about this Cd Series, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
