How Not to Fix Your Marriage Problems (Wife Unresponsive to Changes)
Question:
“I feel like we’ve tried a lot of stuff to fix our marriage problems. What’s wrong? The more I do the more my wife seems to act like she doesn’t care about me or our marriage?”
Answer:
I would like to answer your question by posting an article that I previously wrote.
I often find that couples with marriage problems have great motives, but really bad methodology. Some try to fix their marriage problems by recreating the romantic atmosphere that was present when they first met. Sorry, just about impossible to do. To try to duplicate the passion, hormones, and the excitement of two, curious young people exploring the possibilities of a life together is just about as near to an impossible task as I can think of.
Others try to solve their marital problems by kicking their love into overdrive. I am typically all for this, however, if the other person is unresponsive, then you will have to show a little self-control.
I call the above mentioned scenario the fox and the hound syndrome. One person is chasing while the other is running. Sorry, but if your spouse is running away from you, the harder you chase, the faster they run. It is wise, in this case, to remain loving, caring, and kind, but give the other person a little more room to receive the nice things you are doing for them.
Many also try to eradicate their marital woes with good, kind, and loving acts, but in a spirit of desperation. News-flash: “Your spouse needs a lover they can respect, not a charity case.” In other words, you don’t want to come across as a freshman in the corner of a high school dance hall waiting for one of the seniors to come and ask you for a dance. To be perfectly honest, most people that act in a spirit of desperation are not in love with their spouse as much as in love with their feelings of loneliness, anguish, and despair.
So, what works? There’s only one thing. It’s called true love. The problem is that love is the most over-used, yet misunderstood word in the English language, and few seem to know what it truly means to love someone else.
To start learning how to truly love your spouse, we would recommend our Audio Cd Series called “How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage”. For Ordering Info, Click Here.
Watch this Short Video to See if Your Marriage May be Caught in the Cycle of Resentment and Anger
To Order our Audio Cd Series called How to Break the Cycle of Resentment and Anger in Your Marriage, Click Here.
Answer submitted by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
