Are You Compatible with Your Spouse?
The Following is an article written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force. It is entitled, “Are You Compatible with Your Spouse?”.
A few months ago, my wife came home from shopping and told me that she splurged and bought herself a special gift. At that point, I was thinking a new dress, an hour long massage, or something along those lines. No, not her. She said, “I bought a cultivator today!”.
Yep. That was her special treat. Sound exciting? Well, does it really matter what the rest of us think? In fact, all that really matters is that it matters to her. You see, this woman loves the outdoors, nature, and, well, in my opinion, dirt.
Believe it or not, my wife likes hanging out clothes. She says that the smell of sheets that are hung out on the clothes line is refreshing.
Believe it or not, the last time we went house hunting, the first building she looked at was the barn.
You might be surprised, but my wife would rather work in her garden than go to the mall.
Once again, this may sound strange to some, but what does that matter? All that matters is that it matters to her.
I have some tell me that it’s not their personality to like their husband’s hobbies or take interest in their wife’s seemingly trivial pursuits. To that I must say that we must remember that love is not about the lover, it’s about the one that needs to be loved (I Corinthians 13:5).
This morning, I woke up and cleaned the windows in our home so that my wife could see with clarity her view of the countryside. Last week, I took special time to mow around her plants in her garden so she could take a stroll with ease during the evening through her little vineyard. A few weeks ago, I made homemade deer repellent to help keep the deer out of her precious piece of handiwork.
To the above mentioned you might say, “That’s great that you have so much in common and that you both enjoy the outdoors.”, and to that I would say, “You’ve got another thing coming.”. In fact, I really do not enjoy gardening, working outside, and most of the things that she enjoys along those lines. What I do enjoy, however, is having a happy, contented wife!
It took me a few years to realize that love is not about me. It’s about the one that needs to be loved. It’s about taking interest where I really have little interest. It’s about giving attention to the likes and dislikes of my wife regardless of my own personal bent.
I once had a lady tell me that she wanted help with her marriage. This was at a social gathering and I really did not feel like getting into work mode, however, I was kind of backed into a corner, so I relented.
This lady went on to say that, when they were dating, she would act like she was interested in football because her husband (then boyfriend) loved the game. I asked her if she still did that, and to that she said something to the effect of “Oh no. I hate football.”.
Of course, she said that to wrong person. I then proceeded to tell her that she could probably save herself hours of frustration by just doing now for true love’s sake what she did before marriage for self’s sake. You see, when most dating couples say that they love each other, what they typically mean is I love what you do for me, and, many times, they are doing “A“ as long as their boyfriend / girlfriend is doing “B“. That is, their love is typically conditional in nature. True love, however, says I will love you and take interest in you despite what I am getting out of it right now.
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Article written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force
